sexandfessenjoon

aYYOOO Joons.

I’ve been having some anger problems lately, to the point that I think I may enroll in Anger Management– shoutout to the friend who wants to join me, in these secret classes- you know who you are ;). (hey, the first step is ADMIT) I’m not the nicest person you’ll ever meet, but I’m not really different from most girls.

I think all persian girls have equal amounts of PMS & PMP: PERSIAN-MOM-POTENTIAL

PMS, makes them bitchy (hence: why am i such a bitch?) and PMP makes them at the core, sweet and sacrificing (and always willing to feed).

Yet, if you really take advantage of PMP, you’ll end up with A LOT of PMS– if you catch my drift. And I know, personally for me, thats not the anger/emotional/psycho train you want to be caught in front of, because I dont hit the brakes. I accelerate.

Now, enough with the metaphors. Let me tell you the deal.

Boys, I appreciate how some of you have grown balls as of late, and learned how to approach women. I know, esp Persian Girls, complain non-stop about how we have to wear the pants nowadays, and we find ourselves CHASING YOU. (its not cute, and in fact- it makes you look worse at the end of the day) So I really like guys who go for the forward-ill-ask-you-directly type thing. But you really need to do a better job of reading signs.

I like rejecting people, as much as I like being rejected.

And lately, I have found myself in that uncomfortable, awkward position, of having to really reject some advances, and you know– it pisses me off. I don’t want attention I don’t ask for.

Why don’t I take it as flattery? Because its not fucking flattering, that you are so arrogant that you ASSUME you can be forward without getting the greenlight.

Don’t impose on my space: I didn’t lead you on for you to leave me with the difficult task of gently rejecting your pompous ass, without bruising the delicate ego. I know I will be the bad guy, I know I will be that girl who didn’t text back for days and left you thinking ‘what a bitch’, who has to act cold when you walk into a room– BUT DON’T YOU FORGET, YOU PUT ME THERE. 

I’m not a starved attention whore.. And I’m not desparate for a man…so if you’re imposing yourself on me, my anger will make me want to beat the shit out of you and leave you by a dumpster.

And thats pretty extreme for me, but hopefully joonies, after I tell you a few of these recent incidents–you’ll empathize.

#1

I met this guy through a mutual friend, who was nice and funny. By no means was he my type (douchebag and egotistical- i’m still in that phase, sue me), but I appreciated his company enough. I attempted a friendship here, and I’m not one of those stupid girls that flirt-texts and then is astounded why a guy likes them. I don’t flirt, I’m really chill, and if I don’t like you– i’m pretty uncensored.

When he began to text me more often, I cooled off- when he asked to hang out, I made sure to make it FRIEND-ly –I even think i complained about my weight (HOW UNATTRACTIVE IS THAT?)…and when he wanted to pay, I made sure he didn’t.

In the end it didn’t stop him from going apeshit, and after only a short period of mild friendship– asking me on a date….I didn’t want to go on. In a long essay-like text message, AND VOICEMAIL, he asked me to dinner, or lunch, or w/e so he could just see me.

Well, there goes the friendship.

#2

So If you feel about for #1, you will not feel bad for #2. Here’s a lesson:

If you’re pursuing a girl, and you used to date her friend, very recently– you’re IQ and morality are both in deep shit.

If you get with the girl, she was a shitty person with no principles (aka girl code) and a lover of sloppy seconds. If you don’t get her, they’ll both hate you, and you will be the douchebag.

The other day, I was approached by a man BOY who had quite recently (less than two months) dated a close friend of mine. We had been on good terms before so when he asked to hang out, and I cordially responded that my friend still had his number, so if we went out we’d let him know. You know– a group thing. Guess what this MOFO did?

“Well, you take down my number as well”

I don’t want your fucking number.

Uncomfortably, I gave in, and when he texted me, I stopped responding. Soon enough later, I get stared down– stare of death– by this dick at my local coffee shop. He’s the one who is WRONG , but I have to be made uncomfortable when I’m just trying to fckin enjoy my chayee (tea)?

#3

While waiting for my friend to get off work, I was approached by a distant acquaintance. We made small talk–and he left. Pleasant enough.

Then when my friend arrives, and we’re leaving…he shows up again, asking for my number. This is where PMP kicks in, I felt bad–I didn’t want to bruise his ego in front of my friend, or in public. I gave him my number. The text messages that followed were SO aggressive, I was forced to make up a 5 foot 8 Arab Boyfriend with Major Temper Problems — and even then this guy didn’t get the picture.

“when are we hanging out?”

“What are you doing tonight?”

“so…are we gonna hang out or what?”

WTF, you must only have a quarter of a brain if I told you I cannot hang out 328710932817973 days ago, and YOU’RE STILL ASKING?

I wanted to say– listen dude, I’m worse than an Arab with a temper– I’m a Persian Girl who you have made very uncomfortable.

At the end of the day, I’m feeling pretty MOB WIVES towards guys lately– they’re either DUMB or DUMBER.

They don’t get it when you want them, and they sure as hell don’t get it when you DO NOT WANT THEM in any shape or form.

Men Are Arrogant, and I’m not sorry about bruising their egos anymore.

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

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Angrily Yours’

SAAGHI  ساقی