Sundays are so bittersweet. I’m always glad I have an extra day to get over my hangover, but knowing that Monday is coming in just a few hours really f*cking sucks.
Saturdays are meant to be crazy.
Weekends are the best excuse to let loose.
I love spending my Saturday nights out with friends- going to different bars, letting loose, forgetting about all the shit responsibilities I have. It really is the perfect way to unwind and just have a good time. Until you wake up the next morning…
Awhile back, I went out with a few friends to our former boss’s birthday party. It was great, drank with old coworkers, his current interns, and friends.
But of course, as it always is with celebrating birthdays, the night turned into a bit of a shitshow. No blackouts, because we classy.
Long story short, we all get a little drunk (including my former boss) and somehow I end the night kissing one of his interns.
This is especially awkward for me because not only, do I run with this crowd often but it was in front of everyone — therefore, this wasn’t just some random drunk moment that was between me and the only other person involved… in some dark corner. This was:
My shitshow on display for the office.
The first emotion I felt when I woke up the next morning was humiliated/embarrassed/horrified. I was so embarrassed that I kissed someone that works for my former employer, but I was especially mortified that it was out in the open, for all to see.
And then it hit me. I just kissed the guy once… after a few drinks, and the night was a drinking fest for everyone there. So, who cares?
It’s not like I sucked his d*ck.
And even if I did,
WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME
I bet he woke up that morning thinking, “I’m a pimp.” How does it even make sense that I should feel ashamed and responsible when the other person is definitely not having the same thoughts?
When a guy gets with a girl for a night, he just “got some ass aka pimp daddy.” No big thing. But when a girl does it, she’s easy.
Sometimes you just have to let loose, get out some aggression and have fun. Obviously, be safe. It’s probably a good thing, I didn’t actually go home with the guy. Who knows where he’s been…
But, I hate that feeling where your stomach suddenly drops as you start to remember the night when you’re back to your “right state of mind” — and the first thing you think is, oh man… people SAW that?!
I’m TIRED of feeling it over stupid shit like kissing a boy, or dancing too much, or speaking my mind when someone offends me. That sudden thought, “I wish I hadn’t done that.”
We’re human — sometimes you just need to have a drunken kiss to end your night. Nothing wrong with that.
My initial embarrassment probably stems from countless lectures from my Persian mother about how its “zesht” (rude) to act out in front of people…
Aka… proooooobably includes kissing the the birthday boy’s employee.
In the Persian community, everything is so “hush hush.” That’s probably why we love to gossip so much — because everyone goes to extreme measures to keep certain moments of their life secret (this does not include, accomplishments like new job, university acceptance, or recent marriage).
My parents NEVER talked about their divorce in public or put my report card on the fridge when I had an A-.
Okay, let’s be real, they never put my report card on the fridge because the only A I ever maintained was in English — and we know that subject isn’t acceptable in Persian households.
But it’s true, at all of our mehmooni’s (family parties), my mother would lecture me for at least five minutes before we got there… everything that I wasn’t allowed to bring up… like my most recent C- in Science.
So when it comes to something that doesn’t live up to the standards of my parents, I have a tendency to repress them. And like most Persian products, I feel shame when I’m involved in something that threatens my “reputation.”
But does that mean that something so innocent should result in me agonizing for hours– over whether or not people saw me kiss homeboy?
Um definitely not.
So you better make sure you make some damn good memories to keep your old ass entertained when you can’t kick it like you used to.
Not that I’d ever kiss him again, but I really believe in NO REGRETS. Yeah it’s hard, especially if you screw up. But just learn from your “mistakes” and then they won’t be mistakes anymore.
At the end of the day, we should all be allowed to have a little fun. Life is just too serious otherwise and you only get one chance at that shit (wait… right?).
So I’ll kiss/do what I want with whoever I wish. And I won’t freak the f*** out when I do.
Am I wrong? Should I hold on to those “values” my Irooni mother taught me and be more of a khanoom?
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