I slept until 3 pm today. Yeah… that’s right – I slept for over 12 hours and I was disgusted with myself for doing that. So I went to the gym to make up for it – and rewarded myself with a nice big dinner. Naturally. Well-played Sunday if you ask me.
I had a good weekend – spent it with friends – we went out to a fancy bar (oxymoron) last night and just spent the night dancing, flirting with boys (me), and … then me watching them make out with their boyfriends. Riveting.
I’m really lucky with my group of friends – they’re sweet, caring, always there for each other, good cooks (obviously that’s on my list of criteria), and we all have different types when it comes to guys… for the most part.
I like Persian, and they like everything else – which is a blessing because if that wasn’t the case, we would have a hard time meeting the “Girl Code.”
Girl Code: Never hook up with a friend’s ex-boyfriend/fling.
And I’m a big believer in that. I think friends are more important than getting fancy with a guy that they used to date… and frankly, there are enough fish in the sea where there just shouldn’t be an overlap.
Personally, I would feel uncomfortable if my close friend was f#cking my ex – not because of “principle,” but because… that’s just weird if your friend dates someone you have history with.
Think about it – when you’re in a relationship, you share a certain degree of intimacy with your significant other. Not just sex, but the emotions that sometimes come with it. How would you feel if your friend was sharing that same feeling with someone that made you feel a certain way?
I will never date someone my friend once did — not because it’s wrong, but because it brings awkwardness to a whole new level.
But last night – I faced a new degree of Girl Code that I had never experienced before.
I spent most of the night talking to this guy – he was sweet, cute, not my usual type (as in UN-PERSIAN), and funny. I know, dime a dozen… how do you find that these days? (just kidding).
But I’ve been in a rut lately and it was just cool to connect with someone after what seems like forever. I was actually having fun while my friends were tending to their boyfriends/hook-up of the week.
I stepped away for a second to get another drink when one my friends comes up to me and says, “Omg you’re talking to that guy – how cute! By the way, xx has had a crush on him forever.”
“Um, isn’t she dating that guy that is sitting over there?”
“Yeah! But JUST thought you should know…” Translation — he’s off limits.
I walked away confused and just slightly annoyed. I’m basically being told that even though my friend is taken, I can’t talk to a guy she’s “crushed” on in the past? Wait, I’m sorry, I don’t remember that being in the Girl Code handbook.
Suddenly, not just exes are off limits but potential crushes/attractions are too? How does having a crush on someone automatically translate to having claim over them?
If I really expect my friends to never hit on a guy I found cute or charming in the past — then none of us would ever have a love life. Let’s be realistic.
Claiming men while you are in a relationship is like ensuring you have a back-up plan when your relationship fails.
And if you are making sure that you have a back-up plan, then why are you in a relationship? If you’re preparing something to fail, then it wasn’t a relationship worth committing to in the first place.
I get it … to an extent. When my last boyfriend and I broke up, I thought, “Oh my god, I have to be back out there again… Who can I date ASAP?”
But that’s just not healthy. It’s like being at a buffet — you have all these options and you can’t stop putting more on your plate. At a certain point, you get so full that you feel like throwing up (or am I the only one who eats like this?).
If dating was as easy as claiming someone just because you find them cute, then none of us would ever have such relationship problems. We would be set for life with our never-ending list of relationship potentials without the threat of them being snatched up by someone else.
And if this experience is really justified, then I claim every Persian guy that I find cute — therefore, my friends are NOT allowed to date them otherwise they are breaking the code and our friendship is ruined.
Does that make sense to you?
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