The other day I was sitting with a friend of mine who was telling me about a date she’d just been on. I asked her if the guy paid, and she said “oh no, OF COURSE. If he hadn’t, it would’ve been over for sure!”
Later I went back and thought about that: both about me asking that question, and about her clear reply.
I’d asked the question when we were discussing whether he was worth going on another date with. Both my question and her reply show how important a guy paying on a first date was to both of us. But how feminist is that?
In the world we live in today, we want full feminism but a lot of us also seem to still want men to be ‘gentlemen’.
We want them to pay when we go out, to take care of us, to open doors, to be on top of things. So there’s always this contradiction.
We want women to be equal to men, but we still want men to do things that are now seen as patriarchal.
But is that a contradiction? Is a man being a gentleman patriarchal? Is a man holding a door open for us anti-feminist? With those smaller things, it’s easy to brush them aside and say they’re just men being polite. But when it comes to money, things get more complicated.
A guy paying on a first date seems to be a universally accepted thing. In fact if he doesn’t pay, things tend to get really weird and girls start asking questions about him, his character, his upbringing, etc.
But what about the second, third, and fourth date? And what about afterwards? Are guys still supposed to pay for a lot or is that a relic of a past when women didn’t work or make much money?
From my own relationships things usually work themselves out easily. The guy pays on the first few dates, but then you settle into a routine where things get split pretty much equally. Other friends of mine have relationships where the guy pays for everything, all the time. One friend is on the other extreme: she lives with her boyfriend in her boyfriend’s house, and she pays him rent. All of these scenarios are interesting and women in all of them call themselves feminists.
But then why the emphasis on a guy paying on the first date? Why does that matter so much? Is it because it says something about a guy if he doesn’t? Is it because it’s become normal?
Would you get turned off or worried if a guy didn’t pay on the first date?
I was raised Muslim. I have issues with the religion, I’m not practicing but there is no doubt that my blood is as Islamic as it gets… you can take a look at my family tree, if you know what I mean.
And for years now, I’ve been observing Islamophobia– passively. I’m not a hijabi, I can conceal my religious heritage. And while I’ve never denied being a Muslim, I sure have conveniently left it out of conversations.
Villifying ‘Muslims’, as you know, condemns all Muslims regardless of where they fall on the spectrum of extremism to laissez faire. These past few days, have just been a little too much for me. The movie, Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s article, the protests…
is it an Islamic Awakening, or is the AntiChrist coming?
Either way, many of us kids who grew up with a pretty significant amount of Islamic influence know that
there’s only so many ways you can say hello, and I’m all out for today. & if you love ARAB $$ and SEXY like I do, this song’ll be a hit– summer in Morocco anyone?
and I couldn’t help but post another one for the people going out this weekend:
yeah I kinda gave into #bieberFEVER just a little.
So I’ve decided I have no HOSELEH (HOS for short–patience) for two things:
- ONLINE SHOPPING emails
- Ditzy MEN
One is because I’m broke, the other because I’m too intelligent.
I dont think its ok for girls to play it stupid, but when they actually are that dumb, I just forgive them– because I’m not trying to have sex with them. But for guys, its not that easy. As much as I know not EVERY hook up isn’t going to be an Einstein, I always thought it was safe to assume they have some sort of evolutionary-given common sense. Or could suppress their stupidity for at least the short period of time it takes to get it on.
Saaghi, you’re STUPID. Again.
My friends joke with me that I get with guys on a disability spectrum– from the physically handicapped to the mentally handicapped. I mean there was that one time with the blind guy– but come on! (JK–no one said I was PC on this blog)
But really, now its become a problem: before I’d wait til the next day or tilat least the hookup was over to tell my friends of the stupid sh!t they did, but now I find myself texting/laughing DURING the whole thing.
If I can’t wait to tell the world, it means you’re that ridiculous. Continue reading →
Hola joonies. We’re about to make some of you very mad. (boys—lookin at you!)
So if you weren’t aware before, Iranians have this hate-hate relationship with Arabs. To all the white people reading, no we’re not all the same thing. Different religion, different cultures, VERY different political agendas.
Obama bows to Saudi King
It’s a broad spectrum:
- The Iranians that strongly hate Arabs: they believe the Arabs were conniving conquerors, impregnating our beloved Iran with Islam and so bringing on allll the present trouble we face today (ISLAMIC REPUBLIC of Iran)
- The Iranians that mildly hate Arabs: because of the Sunni/Shiite divide, and/or cultural differences “Arab-hayeh malakh-khor” = Grasshopper eating Arabs.
- The Iranians that just hate Arabs, because…well habit.
Luckily, I grew up in a non-racist household (SORT OF) or my parents just forgot to teach me how to hate Arabs.
I actually love everything about them. Their language, their music, and of course, their MEN!
When it comes to men, Arabs are just MONEY
And you can consider this video the theme song of this post:
(and for all those who are going to complain about the use of quranic verses in this video—from one muslim to another, calm down and be glad they’re in a Busta video and not AlQaeda’s)
In the game of Arab men vs. Iranian men, I’m sorry to say Arabs WIN. It is not really about net worth, they’re not all wealthy– they just have unbelievable swagger. Most Persian guys just look feminine compared to Arab guys. Maybe its that our ancestors were chillin’ in palaces (see: PERSEPOLIS), and Arab’s were surviving the not-so-friendly climate of the desert and figuring out tribal warfare. Maybe that’s when they started to win.
Arabs on camels.
Or maybe, its that Iranians love to pretend they are aristocratic and refined (how many of you were forced to learn FRENCH?), and Arabs don’t mind being diiirttyyy (if you know what I mean) and…well, Arab.
why are their men touching him?
The hottest Persian guy could pass for a girl.
Whatever it is, I personally LOVE it. And if any girl has dated/seen enough Arab guys, they’ll agree with me. And obviously, they have a huge advantage- there are SO many of them: Egyptians, Lebanese, Syrians, Algerians, Morroccans…etc (what’s your favorite flavor ;)?
I remember my earliest crush was on my Lebanese Sunday School teacher, Mr. Al. He had green eyes and brown hair, and was a great distraction from all the BS I had to listen to. It was very unfortunate that he was married with children.
When I was 18, almost immediately after dating an Iranian guy, I started dating a Lebanese guy. It was wonderful. The Arab didn’t complain, he didn’t talk about his MOM, and he didn’t do his eyebrows. He had a take it or leave it personality and he got shit done, and it was such a TURN ON. Even though he wasn’t as good looking as my Persian ex, he was so much SEXIER. I wanted to undress him everytime he walked in the room.
I’m sure there are great Persian guys out there- but you’re all downright INSECURE. Is my nose too big? Are my eyebrows arched enough? Is my doodool too small? Am I too hairy? Look, only girls get to be that insecure– and even then its fucking foolish. Arabs wear their traditional garb, they speak Arabic like they’re about to choke on something, and they grow moustaches and beards– and they OWN it. When’s the last time you saw a Persian guy flashing his lebaseh mahali (traditional village outfit) instead of his Mercedes and Prada?
If Arabs worry about this stuff, they’re good at hiding it because you don’t see them walking around looking like this:
Instead you have this: (soccer players, heirs, and princes- take your pick!)
yeah zidane's arab.
Hariri, one of the world's youngest billionaires
Hamdan, Prince of Dubai
How Do I love Arab $$$ ? Let me count the ways:
1. Bad Boys: They are the Persian girl’s bad boy. Siyaah’s (black guys) are the forbidden fruit, but Arabs are the snake. Your parents will not approve of the Arab, and that makes them that much more desirable. When it comes to white and black guys, some may lack flavor and culture– so Arab guys are the next best thing.
2. Aggressive: Like I said, they’re not afraid of getting down and dirty. Arabs are the Russians of the Middle East, and Iranians are the French.
3. The way they treat women: Wherever your Arab man is from, you can expect him to be 100% jealous and possessive at all times– and us persian girls, we LOVE that. Deny it all you want, but deep down- if you’re man doesn’t care where you are and who you’re with, you think something’s deeply wrong.
I’m prepared to take the hatemail for this – I’m expecting some really awesome emails. and hey, I’ll even post some of them :) so feel free to defend yourselves, persian boys.
