Give it to me | sexandfessenjoon

Feb 20 2013

Divooneh Bitches, Farrah, Give it to me, Joon, Shut the Front Door, What the F

Trust is BLIND

Hey joonies,

Happy Hump Day! Few more hours until we’re over the hump and THAT MUCH closer to the weekend. You’d think that with the three-day weekend we just had, I wouldn’t be so greedy. But work takes up about 80 percent of my time so excuuuuse me for feeling the weekend blues.

In all honesty, I just want to sleep in and watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Don’t judge – reality TV is my ultimate guilty pleasure – but I don’t feel so guilty about it.

Anyway, I’ll get to the real point of this post sooner rather than later because I need some help from you guys on this one:

Let me back up for a second…

I’ve always been very… independent when it comes to men. I don’t trust easily and it’s not because I’ve been so scarred for life, but because I feel like every time I begin to trust one – I get let down.

The fear of vulnerability outnumbers any desire to take a risk.

And I’m actually quite okay with that for now because I truly haven’t met anyone that I can see a future with. So it’s really out of sight out of mind for me… until I realized that…

There are different degrees of trust in any type of “romantic” relationship: (1). you trust your partner to stay committed and (2). you trust the guy you’re f#cking to refrain from [figuratively] f#cking you over. Continue reading →

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Tagged can i trust you, how do you determine trust, is trust just a feeling, loving persian guys, relationship trust issues, trust is a feeling, trust is blind, trust is earned, trusting persian girls, trusting persian guys

Feb 05 2013

Ipaneema Goes For 10 Hours

Hi.

This is Ipaneema.

If his name sounds familiar, its because we interviewed him awhile back…when he liked bitches who didn’t text back. Now he likes bitches who use emojis.

He makes music he loves.

Like this track, a remix of The Fray’s You Found Me. What do you get when you add Reggae + Dubstep + Electronic, and dashes of Justin Timberlake?

Eargasms. (Download, for multiple eargasms)

One time when Ipaneema was DJing in Santa Barbara…

Can you find the Persian?

After 10 hours straight, he fell asleep on the turntables… Continue reading →

Tagged eargasm, electronic, funkytown, ipaneema, lipps, love, music, sex and fessenjoon, the fray, you found me

Jan 27 2013

2 Comments

Divooneh Bitches, Flavor of the Week, Give it to me, Good Little Jewish Girl, Good Little Muslim Girl, Joon, Weekend Winning, What the F, What your momma didn't tell you

If All Else Fails, PLAN B.

Hello hello,

A freshly waxed Saaghi is writing to you. Kinda has me singing nails done, hair done..oh you fancy huh?

Its been a big weekend — SHOP JOON is up.

Get your #JOON game on:

sex&joon

Have you noticed that I (Saaghi) haven’t blogged about sex in awhile? Or did you guys think I had somehow transformed into an asexual being…?

Well, joonies, I’ve been having lots of sex…with only one person. (Uh oh, you know what that means…) And as amazingly wonderful as the sex is, we recently hit something kind of like a hurdle…

A Broken Condom.

Or should I say a torn condom? Idk, whatever its called…it happened. and Bad news is, I’m not on birth control.

In fact, I’ve never been on birth control. While most of my friends started before they were even sexually active (for various other reasons), I never really needed to be on it. My skin was fine, my periods were regular, and I guess my hormones have always had their act together. And its a blessing because I don’t think I could really remember to take a pill everyday, no matter if I know how bad the consequences could be.

And when I did become sexually active, I tried to make sure the guy wrapped it up before anything happened. The first time I visited the gyno, she lectured me on all the different forms of Birth Control (BC) and how “just a condom” was still a risk. I just nodded, smiled, and threw the brochure away…

Maybe I’m ignorant but somehow, I don’t like the idea of putting hormones in my body and getting all crazy. Yet, am I fighting the inevitable? Continue reading →

Tagged birth control, condom, consequences, dating, Persian girls, plan b, relationships, sex, sex and fessenjoon, symptoms

Jan 24 2013

3 Comments

Divooneh Bitches, Farrah, Fetish, Flavor of the Week, Give it to me, Guys I'd date, My Dad would hate, NAStY HAAwT

Fifty Shades of JOON

Hey joon joons,

TOMORROW IS FRIDAY!

And despite the fact that I’m freezing balls here – I can’t wait for the freakin weekend so I can spend the weekend under 100+ blankets. Granted, it’s the “Pro-Life Rally” tomorrow, which means I’ll have to avoid eye contact with everyone and ignore the horrifying pictures of dead fetuses – while I believe in the freedom of speech … I still believe in the freedom of choice. BUT it’s still going to be Friday so I’ll keep my complaints to a minimum.

ANYWAY – I decided to bring the conversation back to sex tonight because in my opinion…

If you’re having it, then you should talk about it.

Okay maybe that’s a bit extreme.

As the story always goes – I met a guy… we liked each other and we eventually, had sex. Done.

But this time was quite different than any other time – and let me try to explain… as with a lot of my sexual (and dating) experiences, I call the shots. I tell them when I’m going to go on top, when they’re on top, where to put their hands, and more.

I’m quite the micro-manager in all aspects of my life.

Especially with my dating history, it’s always me directing – or letting them know what I like… or at least, that’s what it feels like.

Sometimes the guy really needs to take control and tell me what to do – especially in the bedroom. Continue reading →

Tagged acting like the submissive, being a dominant man, dominance, dominant sex, feeling like i'm fifty shades of grey, having a dominant man, having emotional sex, persian girls liking rough sex, relationships, what is dominant sex, what will come next, whips and chains

Jan 14 2013

4 Comments

Farrah, Fetish, Give it to me, Good Little Muslim Girl, What the F

Cuddle On Your Own Time.

Hihi joonies,

Happy Monday! (oxymoron I know). My family is visiting me this week and it’s been just great… granted my pants don’t fit me anymore – and it’s only been two days. #controlproblems

It doesn’t exactly help when my dad keeps telling me that I eat like a monster and that one day, I’m going to get very fat if I’m not careful. But then I look at my mom’s skinny ass and just hope that I got her genes.

Anyway, read Saaghi’s latest post? (click here).

Like Saaghi said, before we give up the v card – it”s all about the kissing. First kisses are probably one of the most nerve-wrecking moments in our adolescent years. I personally, was chugging my Irooni-estyle Capri Sun (aka aab anar) as if it were going to somehow transform me into an amazing kisser.

Kissing is probably the most intimate part of sex. Without kissing, you’re just fucking to be fucked.

We think of sex as this hugely monumental, intimate action between two people — and while it is, sometimes sex is just sex. I’ve encountered this stereotype where guys think that I am somehow going to develop intimate emotions toward them if we are having sex.

And while sex is intimate no matter how you feel about the person – there are different levels of intimacy:

1. Naked Intimacy: You’re intimate because you are naked together. They are seeing you differently than most people would – literally. And that is where it ends – emotions are limited because you’re intimacy solely rests on the fact that you’re about to have this person inside of you and frankly, your interest ends there.

2. Blatant Intimacy: You care for your partner and you want the world to see – or rather, you just don’t care who sees you groping your man’s sac. I personally, hate these people.

3. Intimacy: Caring for someone and sharing those emotions with them through your actions – whether it’s sex or picking up their laundry without bitching about it.

Personally, I am not a fan of intimacy – it makes me feel out of control in a relationship. I feel like I am losing my independence if I am intimate toward another person. AKA I’m scared. Continue reading →

Tagged blatant intimacy, do you like intimacy, having sex without kissing, kissing without sex, no intimacy sex, sex with no intimacy, would you hook up without kissing

Jan 11 2013

1 Comment

Fetish, Give it to me, Joon, Saaghi, Weekend Winning, What the F, What your momma didn't tell you

I Kissed A Boy and I Hated It.

HAPPY FRIDAY! AKA FREEDAY!

Fridays are the best days of the week, because its usually an easy day at work (its casual in every sense of the word), people are in better moods… and I can sit at my desk, stare at my computer and just contemplate LIFE.

or penguins.

Today, I was thinking about Kissing.

Because before there was Sex & Fessenjoon, there was BOOS & Fessenjoon.

No one hits a home run without at least going for first base. (question: is kissing still first base?) And so much of intimacy really is… boos boosing, or making out, OR frenching, or whatever you want to call it. A lot of people remember their first kiss and for some, it was with someone they really liked.

For me, I don’t really remember or attach that much significance to the first kiss. It happened much later for me, at the end of high school, but I’m really hazy on the exact way it happened and if there was tongue involved or not? There were no fireworks or sparks, I assure you. But I will tell you joonies this, ever since I started kissing, I haven’t wanted to stop.

Unless you’re a bad kisser, in which case we call that a #DEALBREAKER.

A good kiss can really turn you on, and it can make you a memorable hook up. A bad kiss will make the other person run for the hills– no matter how hot you are, or how great your personality is. There is no set formula on how to be a good kisser, but there are some common DO’s and common DON’T's. Continue reading →

Tagged breath mints, dos and donts of kissing, having sex, hooking up, is kissing fun, kissing, kissing is the best thing, kissing leads to hooking up, whats the worst thing you can do when you are kissing

Jan 08 2013

I Do It And It Feels Good

Hey joonies,

I feel like it’s been awhile — hasn’t it? i miss you all. Sitting here… cold… knowing that I should really go to the gym tonight. The gym is what allows me to eat the ridiculous way that I do. Cake, burgers, you name it.

Motivation #leggo

I spent most of my vacation being lazy and watching random TV shows – Downton Abbey, Blue Mountain State, and the infamous Dawson’s Creek (Dawson is such a pain). Anyway, watching Dawson’s Creek just reminds me of high school … and how different my life was compared to them.

In high school, I wasn’t the top student… or the most devoted. I cut class – not to do anything fun in particular, but just because I had no hos. It’s funny how things change when you grow up.

And I definitely wasn’t what some people would consider “innocent.” Virgin or not – I still made it through third base by the time I was 16 - what’s considered for some people = normal.

And watching Dawson’s Creek (don’t judge me) - these kids are 15 and they’re having their first kiss. It makes me wonder…

Are you ever too young to have sex?

The answer might seem obvious to some – but when I was 15-16, I thought I was old enough to do these things and even more so, I was curious about it. I wanted to know what the hype was about and frankly, I was growing up – experimenting.

Looking back now, I think 16 is so young and when I think about how I felt doing it then — it was weird. Nothing ever really felt good… it just felt different and I remember thinking either “ow” or “this is uncomfortable.”

It took a long time for messing around to actually stop feeling foreign and start feeling real. Continue reading →

Tagged carnival cruises, going to third base, having sex, hooking up on a cruise ship, is it ever too young to have sex?, no regrets, was i too young to have sex

Dec 03 2012

18 Comments

Divooneh Bitches, Douche of the Week, Farrah, Fetish, Flavor of the Week, Give it to me, Guys I'd date, My Dad would hate, What the F

My DooDool Is Made of Gold

Hey Joonies,

It’s been a long day. I’m tired. I just went on a cleaning rampage and now I feel like my entire body reeks of bleach. But shit needs to get done – ya feel me?

All I want to do tonight is relax and laugh.

I’m going to pretend like I wasn’t planning to go for a run tonight – ugh why is running so hard? Better question is, why is it so much easier to eat something like this:

Bomb

My type in food is … NO DISCRIMINATION – I love it all – minus the weird stuff, like cow tongue, cow BALLS, kalehpacheh, and all the weird shit our culture claims is okay to eat.

When it comes to dating, my type is starting to become more of a disappointment/ball buster than a night well spent.

I have a tendency to go for the unemployed, douchey, mama’s boys.

I’m not really sure what the appeal is in that — wish I could say that they’re really packing it (if ya know what I mean). But the reality is they’re equally lacking in that area.

#khaktosarem / #mommyissues?

Men who don’t have a lot to offer have a tendency to overcompensate in an effort to hide their true colors until you’re hooked. Continue reading →

Tagged choke me, coddling, doodool tala, eating cupcakes, growing up, growing up too fast, having sex, having sex with a guy, Persian girls, persian mothers coddle you, relationships, taking too long to get ready

Nov 21 2012

1 Comment

Divooneh Bitches, Farrah, Give it to me, Secondary Virgin, What the F

I’m A 9.9 on the Sex Scale

JOON JOONS,

As most of you know – I’m back home right now visiting the fam and Saaghi joooooooon. Saaghi is slaving away at work right now so you guys are stuck with me. Someone’s gotta make the $$$ to support me (looking at you Saaghi joonam). Shout out to all of you who answered the poll in our last post -- Let’s just say 99% of you will never share your sex life with your parents.

Completely understood.

Personally – I let my mom think that I share everything with her, but if that were the honest to God truth — then I have been celibate for the last five years.

YEAH. RIGHT.

As “cool” as my mom thinks she is when it comes to sharing intimate details of my life, she still kicked me at the house at 18 when she found out I had given head.

#details

But that’s a story for another time.

I’ve been having a lot of R&R time with Saaghi – which totally beats out Skype dates because we can talk all about sex for as long as we want.

When I first lost my virginity – I went through a series (okay by series, I mean two) of hookups. I had finally lost the V-CARD and I suddenly felt this sense of freedom. I felt like I could do whatever I wanted, that I didn’t need to hold back when I was with a guy anymore because there wasn’t anything left to “lose.” There were no more hymens left to break, excuses to come up with to ward off unwanted penetration, etc.

It was exhilarating – not just because I could finally have sex, but it was something different than what I had been experiencing (third base). Within a span of a few months, I went from having one sexual partner to a total of three without even thinking twice about it (not all at once, thanks).

I’m free bitches

I didn’t really think about numbers when it came to sex. I just thought – hey this feels new and I want to keep trying it until it feels good. It was until I was in bed with a boy and he asked me what my “number” is that I started thinking, wait does this really matter?

I remember thinking, “Whew, at least it’s not high…” when I answered him. And for a long time – that’s what deterred me from having sex.

My community and the fear of actually losing my virginity no longer discouraged me from having sex. Instead all of that fear was replaced by the pressure and threat of judgement if I had slept with 10+ people. Continue reading →

Tagged having sex, having sex in iran, how far have i been, how many people have i slept with, iran, Persian girls, persian girls having sex, sex, what is my number

Nov 18 2012

5 Comments

Divooneh Bitches, Farrah, Flavor of the Week, Give it to me, What your momma didn't tell you

Can I Get An OH With That

JOONs,

Saaghi and I are finally reunited after what feels like foreverrr – AKA blogspiration. So check out our new poll below and let us know what you think.

I’m writing to you from the comfort of my mom’s couch. Is it just me or is everything more comfortable at the parent’s house? The blankets are warmer, the food is better, the towels are softer. I love coming home — and unlike before, I’ve mastered the art of avoiding their constant guilt trip.

“You’re leaving?”

Y-E-S.

“You don’t want to have dinner with us?”

N-O.

I’ve had some difficulty coming up with ideas to write about. Probably because my dating life is a little non-existent and my work life has basically taken over. But, being so wrapped up with everything unrelated to sex makes me realize…

that sometimes fantasizing is better than the real thing.

Unfortunately, in my life — fantasies don’t exist. Imagining the perfect man springing you out of the strip club you’ve had to resort to is just a stupid dream that only slutty Persian girls think about. Oh wait… just kidding.

The point is that every time I come home…

I’m reminded of the horror and nightmares that only Persian parents can put you through. Continue reading →

Tagged cruise to mexico, going to mexico, having orgasms, having sex, Persian girls, relationships, sexing it up, the sex talk, v-card, virginity

sexandfessenjoon

SEX and our love for fessenJOON

Category Archives: Give it to me

Trust is BLIND

The fear of vulnerability outnumbers any desire to take a risk.

There are different degrees of trust in any type of “romantic” relationship: (1). you trust your partner to stay committed and (2). you trust the guy you’re f#cking to refrain from [figuratively] f#cking you over. Continue reading →