Category Archives: Good Little Muslim Girl

Apr 23 2013
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Give it to me, Good Little Muslim Girl, Joon, Secondary Virgin

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Introducing Leila – half Egyptian, half European – the newest addition to our team! Give her some joooooon love! 

When it comes to claiming that things are universal, it’s always good to be careful. But one thing that seems to be almost everywhere is the infamous double standard when it comes to men, women and sex. Now some places and people are more open to sexual experiences than others, but the thing that seems to be the same no matter where, who and when is this:

it’s good for men to be sexually experienced, and bad for women.

Now that’s obviously a simplification but I seriously can’t think of a single person who hasn’t—at some point or another—believed in this! In fact it’s so pervasive that it’s unconsciously accepted by so many of us.

pie

In Egypt, this particular belief expresses itself in society’s obsession with The Virgin Woman. Virginity is such an important part of a woman that people will literally go out of their ways to find creative ways of having sex without it “showing” when they get married.

From non-penetrative sex to hymen reconstruction surgeries, there seem to be endless methods that ensure a woman will look and feel like a virgin on her wedding night. Continue reading →

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Apr 10 2013
5 Comments
Douche of the Week, Flavor of the Week, Give it to me, Good Little Muslim Girl, Guys I'd date, My Dad would hate, Joon

The ManWhore

Joonies – we’re introducing our lovely Egyptian writer Yasmine. Yasmine’s a reader, political thinker, and an-all around intelligent woman. Enjoy!

I recently had a conversation with a guy who thought he was being smart when, as he complained about his love life, exclaimed,

“Each time I run into one of these whores and she acts like she doesn’t know me, I just want to tell her, ‘bitch I’ve seen you naked!’”

My eyebrows may have well reached my hairline in shock as I sat listening to this buffoon complain about the amount of “cheap lays” he encountered. Had I been able to get a grip on my nerves, I would have told him that any girl in her right mind would certainly have full rights to disown him. More importantly however, I would have asked him a question that I feel ought to be asked to be generally addressed by many of us…

how do we find it acceptable to refer to women as whores within a conversation in which a male speaker demonstrates obvious whorish tendencies?

I hear many guys boast about their sexual records and each time I find it hard to understand how they have the guts to then call women whores.

whores

 I am quite sure that many of you have overheard conversations with similar lines to the one above. Moreover, the Internet is flooded with “bitches (and hoes) be like” memes. Facebook too, continues to harbor many “hoe detection” pages. So why is it that men can admittedly boast of a hundred plus affairs and get away with it?

Worse still, when the word “manwhore” is used, it is often said in a teasing tone meant to enforce the impressiveness of the man’s sexual accomplishments. Continue reading →

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Mar 28 2013
4 Comments
Divooneh Bitches, Flavor of the Week, Good Little Jewish Girl, Good Little Muslim Girl, Guys I'd date, My Dad would hate, Joon, Saaghi, Weekend Winning, What your momma didn't tell you

High-Five Yourself!

Saaghi here, I know it has been awhile– but we have such talented new writers that Farrah and I get excited to just share, share, share!

This latest post was inspired by this article I read the other day, 35 Things I Wish I Had Done Before Turning 35 by Hemal Jhaveri. Now, we all have our unfulfilled bucket lists, and it is inevitable that we’re going to have a few “I wish I had…”  but one thing really stuck out to me on this list,

2. Hooked up with that hot guy from New Zealand who I met in a bar in Bali
In your 20s, you think stuff like this will happen to you again and again, but trust me, it doesn’t. And he totally would have been worth it.

If you think I’m going to go on about how I think we should all hook up instead of thinking twice, you’re wrong. But I think Hemal captures something really interesting, the once-in-a-lifetime hookup. Sure, in college, you can trade saliva with a lot of frat boys, athletes, and pseudo-intellectual Socialists —

but once in awhile, life throws you a Gem of a hookup. And its not about love, or relationships, or anything like that.

Its a pure ‘HIGH-FIVE yourself’ moment, and that’s why it’s great. Because when you do turn 35, you’ll look back and mentally high-five yourself again.

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And while meeting a sexy foreign guy and deciding against sharing some drunken kisses (or more) with him seems crazy, it happens a lot. One of my girlfriends turned down a successful Spaniard –who couldn’t keep his hands off of her– only to regret it two minutes later, and go looking for him again at the bar! I’ve had one or two gem hook ups, that I high-five myself for every time. One, in Paris, where my friends really helped me get the Parisian guy of my dreams..for a few hours ;).

Our usual instincts are : approach with caution, and don’t be promiscuous.

I’m not advocating that every night be get drunk and naked night, because you’re definitely not coming across these gems all the time (and if you are, give me the name of your city and I’ll move there) All I’m saying is–You have to know what you’re saying NO to, and if that will be a NO you’ll remember for a long time. Ultimately, everyone has their own principles, morals, and limits, but

You just can’t be too high-strung in your 20′s, you have the rest of your life to be that way. Continue reading →

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Mar 26 2013
1 Comment
Good Little Jewish Girl, Good Little Muslim Girl, Joon, What your momma didn't tell you

I Have A Little Problem…

I have felt fat and imperfect since I was about 7.

I can trace it back to the moment when my mom started discussing my weight and how I was pudgy with our doorman in Iran. Iranians don’t ever shy away from making extremely blunt comments:

“You look a bit fat, have you thought of losing weight?”

“Maybe you should start taking care of your mustache, you aren’t a kid anymore.”

“That haircut makes you look old for your age.”

We have all heard it at some point.

But this moment never really left me, and from then on my body, what I ate, and how I looked became a dominant thought in my head. When my mom asked my best friend’s mom, who was a nutritionist, how I could lose weight at 13 — When constant comments were made about why is it that I just can’t have a tighter stomach. There was a constant voice in my head about my imperfect weight.

thin

I started throwing up after binge eating in my last year of high school. I thought of it as damage control. I can throw up the food that I would accidentally binge eat. It wouldn’t happen that often, mainly because I ended up going on a self-imposed strict diet of only fruits and vegetables for 3 months.

When college started I was determined not to gain the freshman 15. Outside of my bulimia, I’m a very healthy eater. People think that you can only binge on unhealthy foods, I’ve binged on all kinds of food and thrown it up, unhealthy food is just easier to throw up. I didn’t think about this as a problem for a long time. Again, it was a form of damage control. I would get stressed, I would drink, or I would be mindless and end up binge eating. Then, when I realized what I had done, I would go and take care of it.

hungry

There is a wonderfully sick feeling of emptying yourself, a sense of relief and victory. I never considered asking myself why it was that I was binge eating, or why was it that I felt the need to binge to a certain point to make myself throw up. As college continued, my stress continued, and my body issues expanded. There was only so much I could control at times. And this form of “damage control” was effective and immediate.

It wasn’t until last year when I recognized my little problem, when I actually gave it a name and called it bulimia. Continue reading →

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Mar 13 2013
2 Comments
Divooneh Bitches, Douche of the Week, Farrah, Give it to me, Good Little Muslim Girl, Guys I'd date, My Dad would hate, NAStY HAAwT

What A Bad Boy

Joons,

I can practically feel spring and Norouz – unfortunately, I live too far away from my parents to bask in their Norouz festivities (and pocket change), but I can enjoy my pet goldfish nonetheless.

On the East Coast – spring is amazing. You stop wearing what feels like 5000 layers, you can actually feel heat from the sun, the flowers are pretty. It’s a great time of year (for two weeks… then it’s f#cking hot). When it’s spring, you no longer experience anxiety about leaving the house because of the ridiculous cold. It’s the time where you can enjoy being active and you can fantasize about what the day holds.

Clearly, I dream about when this day will come often. But despite my fantasies about the cute sandals and pretty sundress I’ll wear, I take a completely different approach when it comes to sex.

I can dream about the most mundane things. But when it comes to sex, I can’t imagine anything other than the reality.

And the reality is, I’ll probably wear a total of one dress this summer and after two weeks, I’ll start bitching about the humidity.

humid

For some reasons, one of the top 10 questions guys ask when they get all personal (and if they’re ballsy) is: what’s your fantasy?  Continue reading →

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Feb 24 2013
8 Comments
Give it to me, Good Little Muslim Girl, Guys I'd date, My Dad would hate, Joon, What your momma didn't tell you

Date Me, I’m A Virgin

Meet YASSI, our guest blogger of the day. As you joonies can tell from the title, she’s not one for polite introductions—she’s diving right in:

I’m a late bloomer.

I had my first kiss when I was 19 and very drunk.

At 22, I haven’t had sex (Oh no a VIRGIN!).

I’ve messed around, but no sex in the traditional “penis in my vagina” definition. I’m neither ashamed nor proud of my virginity. It’s just something that happened that way (or didn’t at this point). I was never in a relationship, never dated seriously in college, and just didn’t get into a situation where it almost happened.

Late bloomer.

bleeder

It’s been a little over a year since I’ve left school, and I’ve started to dab in dating (A whole different conversation itself-for God’s sake where do you meet people?!?!) Which brings me to the purpose of this whole background.

At what point do you tell the person you are dating you are a virgin? Do you even tell them you are? Your sex life is your own business, you choose who you want to talk about it.

But being a virgin has made the possibility of causal sex a bit difficult. Based on my own experience and the type of person I am, I think that casual sex would be easier if I had already had sex before -a bit of a Catch 22 situation I’ve got here.

Call me naive, but I always wanted to wait for a “relationship” where I felt comfortable enough being open about my experience (or lack there of), and would be able to learn and experience my sexuality with a person that understood me, and gave me the chance to grow.

But the more I grow up and realize I probably won’t get that relationship very soon, the more I wonder how I should go about this whole sex question-because I want to have sex. In this day and age, sex ends up becoming a part of casual dating (not all the time, but work with me here), and often happens before a relationship is serious, or before a relationship even happens. But, I don’t know how I feel about having sex for the first time with a guy I had dinner with three times.

bork

I came across this problem while on a very nice date with a guy I had spent a few days talking to. Things were getting a bit hot and heavy in his car; some clothing was coming off, when he suggested that we go back to my place. I froze. I had thought about sex with this guy, but was I actually going to go through with it? I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to do. What if I was horrible at it? What if it doesn’t feel good for him? Do I tell him that it’s my first time?

I know it’s actually counterproductive to think about this, but I can’t help it.

I was constantly thinking: is this what I want right now? Is this the person I want to sleep with? Is this where? Is this how? Basically, I killed the mood. Continue reading →

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Feb 04 2013
1 Comment
Divooneh Bitches, Flavor of the Week, Good Little Jewish Girl, Good Little Muslim Girl, Joon, Saaghi, What the F, What your momma didn't tell you

Make Me Submissive, Baby

Happy Monday = R.I.P weekend

It was Superbowl weekend, and even though Niners lost– it was probably the best football game I’ve ever watched.

Jim Harbaugh proved that I have more in common with an NFL coach than I thought possible.

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So this post is partially an ode to Jim Harbaugh, who perfectly embodies the frustrated and helpless younger sibling in all of us.

In an earlier post, Farrah Joon talked about her take on dominating in the bedroom…and how it’s a lot better, when the guy takes control.  And to borrow a quote from the lovely lady that I think described her point definition of “DOMINATING”:

“HE TOOK CONTROL AND HE GAVE IT TO ME THE WAY HE KNEW I WOULD LIKE IT.” - Fifty Shades of Joon

And really, its true…while it may vary from girl to girl, almost all women like it when the man exercises some control. And without passing judgment, I have to ask:

Why? Why do we like it when a man plays the Dominant to our Submissive?

The ‘S’ word may be a dirty one, but deep down, every bad b*tch wants an equally (or more) powerful male to pin her down and give it to her good. Continue reading →

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Jan 27 2013
2 Comments
Divooneh Bitches, Flavor of the Week, Give it to me, Good Little Jewish Girl, Good Little Muslim Girl, Joon, Weekend Winning, What the F, What your momma didn't tell you

If All Else Fails, PLAN B.

Hello hello,

A freshly waxed Saaghi is writing to you. Kinda has me singing nails done, hair done..oh you fancy huh?

Its been a big weekend — SHOP JOON is up.

Get your #JOON game on:

sex&joon

sex&joon

Have you noticed that I (Saaghi) haven’t blogged about sex in awhile? Or did you guys think I had somehow transformed into an asexual being…?

Well, joonies, I’ve been having lots of sex…with only one person. (Uh oh, you know what that means…) And as amazingly wonderful as the sex is, we recently hit something kind of like a hurdle…

A Broken Condom.

Or should I say a torn condom? Idk, whatever its called…it happened. and Bad news is, I’m not on birth control.

In fact, I’ve never been on birth control. While most of my friends started before they were even sexually active (for various other reasons), I never really needed to be on it. My skin was fine, my periods were regular, and I guess my hormones have always had their act together. And its a blessing because I don’t think I could really remember to take a pill everyday, no matter if I know how bad the consequences could be.

And when I did become sexually active, I tried to make sure the guy wrapped it up before anything happened. The first time I visited the gyno, she lectured me on all the different forms of Birth Control (BC) and how “just a condom” was still a risk. I just nodded, smiled, and threw the brochure away…

Maybe I’m ignorant but somehow, I don’t like the idea of putting hormones in my body and getting all crazy. Yet, am I fighting the inevitable? Continue reading →

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Jan 17 2013
2 Comments
Flavor of the Week, Good Little Jewish Girl, Good Little Muslim Girl, Joon, Persian Dad, Saaghi, Weekend Winning, What the F

Persian Dad Wisdom for the Job Hunt

So it looks like I get the joy of writing another end-of-the-week post–and I know on a Thursday, the last thing you want to hear is some NASEEHAT – patronizing advice– so I’ll make this as painless as possible.


Math was always my Dad’s thing. Math and Soccer.

and since I didn’t turn out to be some Brandi Chastain or Mia Hamm, my Dad really tried to amp up my Math skills. He would buy me the next year’s textbook for me to prep over the summer. He tried to push me to “proof” my geometry when I was in 5th grade. Basically, he made himself available in anyway when it came to ARITHMETIC, but I dreaded every single tutoring session with him, because it either ended in tears or some sort of fight.

My dad had a low tolerance for stupid mistakes, and he made it pretty clear that most mistakes were stupid.

I would beg my Mom to help me on my Math homework before my Dad got home. but somehow I always ended up on the couch, in misery as my Dad demanded I do my homework, the extra credit, and assigned me more problems that he would grade.

image

So by the time I left High School, I was ready to kiss MATH goodbye!

When I was picking a major in College, my dad wanted me to do Engineering, Math, Stats… you catch my drift… and I was quite content doing anything but.  He threatened to not fund my education, so we met halfway…

Economics.

Long story short, that didn’t quite work out later on (and my dad won’t ever let me forget it). But I did end up taking a whole sequence of Math classes, Stats, and some other sh!t with numbers. Now that I look back, I am so f#cking glad  I did.

and I’ll never admit this to my Dad, but he was right. People who know how to work with Numbers usually get hired faster and get paid more. For a reason. Continue reading →

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Jan 14 2013
4 Comments
Farrah, Fetish, Give it to me, Good Little Muslim Girl, What the F

Cuddle On Your Own Time.

Hihi joonies,

Happy Monday! (oxymoron I know). My family is visiting me this week and it’s been just great… granted my pants don’t fit me anymore – and it’s only been two days. #controlproblems

It doesn’t exactly help when my dad keeps telling me that I eat like a monster and that one day, I’m going to get very fat if I’m not careful. But then I look at my mom’s skinny ass and just hope that I got her genes.

Anyway, read Saaghi’s latest post? (click here).

Like Saaghi said, before we give up the v card – it”s all about the kissing. First kisses are probably one of the most nerve-wrecking moments in our adolescent years. I personally, was chugging my Irooni-estyle Capri Sun (aka aab anar) as if it were going to somehow transform me into an amazing kisser.

first

Kissing is probably the most intimate part of sex. Without kissing, you’re just fucking to be fucked.

We think of sex as this hugely monumental, intimate action between two people — and while it is, sometimes sex is just sex.  I’ve encountered this stereotype where guys think that I am somehow going to develop intimate emotions toward them if we are having sex.

And while sex is intimate no matter how you feel about the person – there are different levels of intimacy:

1. Naked Intimacy: You’re intimate because you are naked together. They are seeing you differently than most people would – literally. And that is where it ends – emotions are limited because you’re intimacy solely rests on the fact that you’re about to have this person inside of you and frankly, your interest ends there.

2. Blatant Intimacy: You care for your partner and you want the world to see – or rather, you just don’t care who sees you groping your man’s sac. I personally, hate these people.

3. Intimacy: Caring for someone and sharing those emotions with them through your actions – whether it’s sex or picking up their laundry without bitching about it.

Personally, I am not a fan of intimacy – it makes me feel out of control in a relationship. I feel like I am losing my independence if I am intimate toward another person. AKA I’m scared. Continue reading →

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