Category Archives: Uncategorized

My Hips Don’t Lie

Joons – we got a sexy Latina on the blog. That’s right – introducing Patricia – a radio host, feminist, and civil engineer – Patricia is beauty, brains, and wit wrapped into one. We love her because she refuses to apologize (you’ve been warned).

We Latinas are sexy and curvaceous and all around pretty damn hot…or so people say. On American TV shows we always have a hot body and a cute accent, and on Latino TV shows we lose the accent, but we still keep the hot bodies.

I know for a fact that I do not fit that mold. Yes, maybe I have larger hips and a bigger bootie than most of my White friends, but even these thighs weren’t enough to compete with the voluptuous Sofia Vergara’s, Salma Hayek’s, and Shakira’s of the world; mainly because having a big bootie comes with having a lot of everything else — I’m talking to you, darn tummy.

I have a love/hate relationship with my body.

As a little girl I was extremely thin which resulted in my relatives admonishing my parents for not feeding me enough. Little plump kids are a good thing in my culture, but I was happy to look like the thin girls I saw on TV. That was until I turned 12 and developed breasts and hips much too large for a tween. Then my relatives complained that I was getting too big, and I suddenly felt like I didn’t fit in anywhere.

Throughout the years I have gained and lost so much weight, yet I haven’t been able to look like any of the women that the media tells me I’m supposed to look like.

This struggle isn’t particularly unique for Latinas, but as women of color we need to reconcile two completely different ideals. Our definition of beauty, womanhood, and positive body image is largely defined by our cultures and ethnic backgrounds. But most of us came of age in the United States, and outside our homes beauty standards were very different. So how do we reconcile those two standards? Or better yet, why should we?

It gets tiring to hear criticism about your body and as much as we try to not let that hurt us, it’s really tough when it comes from our mom or our aunts. As a teenager I had no way of telling my relatives that their comments, as well-meaning as they meant them to be, were hurtful. As an adult, I still don’t really know how to handle body criticism.

It sucks to feel like you’ll never have the right amount of curves to look like Jennifer Lopez, but will always have too many curves to fit into our anglicized adopted country. And trust me, genetics gave me these hips, there is no amount of gym time that can fix the genetic impossibility of looking like Charlize Theron.

Curves are a part of the Latina physique (so take note Gap, because your jeans come in one-size-hips-only.) Continue reading

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Persian Girl Gone Wild.

Saaghi here. Its hard to follow after Maz/Jimmy Vestvood, but I’m going to try.

I worked an 18 hour day yesterday, and so tonight, I came home and got high. Loner stoner is not my usual thing- actually never–but Ive discovered  a new level stress thanks to my job. Its even giving me bad dreams, like last night–

I had a nightmare that my Persian Dad found out that I write for Sex& Fessenjoon. And he wouldn’t speak to me, even as I pleaded while balling me eyes out.

I woke up feeling just as sad as I was in my dream, but confused why it affected me so much?

For me, #SEXANDFESSENJOON is all about thinking twice about all that you’ve always been told is wrong, or zesht (dirty, looked down on, ugly, etc).  And partially,

its about defending my right to get high in my underwear, by myself, after work–as a Persian girl.

Or my right to have sex outside of a relationship.

Or even my right to be INAPPROPRIATE.

Cause lets be real, there are too many fucking rules.

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My confession though– Some rules only make sense after your break them. 

Especially the ones that you break over and over again. Continue reading

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But You’re Like Really Deep.

JOONZ

do you know I’ve never spelled it that way?

I’ve been feeling uninspired lately. My life’s gone from 150mph to a slow turtle’s pace. (oK , I’m done with the pity party I swear)– and so I have..different material to work with–what that means for you guys is blog posts that are less sex, more JOON.

because I even forgot to bring my little friend to my new place.  (Let’s see how long I can hold out on this one.

Just so we’re clear. This post isn’t an ODE to mY loneliness POST, and  this post is NOT about me hating on Persian men– which is code for: DONE BEING SINGLE, SWOOP ME UP DOODOOL TALA!   just keeding.

its about depth. and depth-y people (I just created that adjective).

& Just to set the mood, I feel deep when I listen to this song:

SO wtf do we mean, when we say someone’s “really deep”?

Does it mean they’re spiritual? They recite cryptic poetry? Or that they’ve been through a lot of crazy sh!t in their life?

And how do you measure this “Depth”? cause clearly, humans aren’t actual swimming pools.

Although I wish people would have some sort of obvious marker for safety purposes– like “7 feet”, “5 1/2 feet”, “WADING POOL”.

Continue reading

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Things that Guarantee You’ll Be Torshideh & Desperate*

TORSHIDEH: (n) persian term for pickled (literally). Signifies an old single woman, or bag lady with cats—aka any persian girl 27+

Forever Lazy = Forever Single. Need I say more?

To all my joonieesss (not gender specific), please don’t go out this weekend in the above outfits. There are no snuggie parties that will get you a respectable date, or a fun mistake. Please do DRINK-HOOKUP-LAUGH LOTS and share it ALL with us: sexandfessenjoon@gmail.com

Happy Friday!

The S&F Team

Get Out of the Closet, You Whore!

So we’re all virgins, right?

Does this make you uncomfortable? Then, leave.

For all those Persian girls, virgins or not, who’ve done the walk of shame, gotten caught by their parents, or been the subject of the rumor mill–this is for you. Time to wipe off the eyeliner, and kick off those designer shoes and get down to the nitty gritty.

And for all you so-called “perfect” Irooni boys, get off that pedestal that your mama put you on—your doodool is not made of gold.

We like sex. and we like fessenjoon. So we decided to marry both, won’t you join our union?

So be ready for the morning after stories, the shitshows, and all the great moments life has to offer in between.  In the meantime, feel free to email us YOUR stories too: sexandfessenjoon@gmail.com (we promise to ALWAYS keep our joonie’s identity anonymous).  

Love Always,

The S&F team
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