The other day I was sitting with a friend of mine who was telling me about a date she’d just been on. I asked her if the guy paid, and she said “oh no, OF COURSE. If he hadn’t, it would’ve been over for sure!”
Later I went back and thought about that: both about me asking that question, and about her clear reply.
I’d asked the question when we were discussing whether he was worth going on another date with. Both my question and her reply show how important a guy paying on a first date was to both of us. But how feminist is that?
In the world we live in today, we want full feminism but a lot of us also seem to still want men to be ‘gentlemen’.
We want them to pay when we go out, to take care of us, to open doors, to be on top of things. So there’s always this contradiction.