Tag Archives: iran

Oct 25 2012
2 Comments
Farrah, Fetish, Give it to me, Good Little Muslim Girl

Get It Right, Get It Tight

JOONS,

So this might be my last post … forever because “Hurricane Sandy” is planning to make an appearance to the East Coast and I might drown.  Okay – maybe not so dramatic, but I don’t really do well with rain.  So excuse me while I play the victim card and plan for a simpler life in sunny CALI.

Outside my house in CALIFORNIA

Enough of that — I don’t know what it is, but whenever I’m actually having sex, I don’t really feel the need to talk about it.  It’s when I’m not having sex that I’m like OMG remember when…

And that’s exactly how I’m feeling tonight – I need to get some ass in my life and who knows why the f#ck it’s not happening.  I remember when I first started having sex — I was very pro-missionary.  And not because I thought it felt so ahhhh-mazing, but because I was too shy to do anything else.

If you’re too shy to f#ck the way it’s meant to be, then you probably shouldn’t be having sex. Continue reading →

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Oct 23 2012
5 Comments
Divooneh Bitches, Flavor of the Week, Good Little Jewish Girl, Good Little Muslim Girl, Joon, NAStY HAAwT, Saaghi, What your momma didn't tell you

Not thug life, but the Double Life.

Happy Tuezday.

Here’s something that made my week: the fact that my friends want me to dress up as Bert for Halloween. My question is,

Which Persian girl puts on a unibrow, voluntarily?

image

I thought bad eyebrows were like bad noses, you get rid of them and deny deny deny you ever had one? Or is the UNI in now? Someone fill me in.

Anyway, my grandparents were in town for awhile, all the way from eeRAN, and aside from lots of lavashak and pistachios, they bring a suitcase full of “Naseehat” (guidance from elders).

The problem with that is, I hate NASEEHAT. I’m comfortable enough with my parents to stop them before they get ahead with all their ‘guidance’ lectures–’Dad, the decibel level of your voice annoys me‘. But with my grandparents, I can’t be so direct. I have to swallow my pride, and smile, and nod–as if I’m actually going to take what they say into consideration.

Do you see how immature and stubborn I am?

But, in my defense, as I’ve… aged… I’ve gotten better at identifiying the ‘GOOD Naseehat‘ from the ‘OBNOXIOUS Naseehat’. Especially now that I’m out on my own, with my own bills and finances and Adult-ness,

I know I can’t learn everything the hard way– cause if I do, it’ll end with bad credit, a mug shot, and an ‘I TOLD YOU SO’. Continue reading →

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Oct 21 2012
3 Comments
Farrah, Good Little Muslim Girl, What the F

You Don’t Scare Me

Hey joonies,

Sorry we’ve been a little more MIA than usual.  October and November tend to be my busiest months at work than the rest of the year.  I love my job, but it really took me awhile to get there.  It took me time to be able to adjust and get comfortable with people.

Despite being outspoken and blunt, I have a tendency to start out shy with people I don’t know.  My potty mouth is reserved for friends only and the tattoo-ed, women’s rights advocate, and proud Iranian side of me are usually put away when I first start a new job.

My philosophy: you never know how people are going to react – better to start out observing than to be sorry in the end.

Clarification: I will never apologize for who I am.  But in order to be professional, you have to choose what parts of your personality you should highlight in the workplace.

My resume is dominated by my experience in Middle East studies.  In college, I went from one journalism internship to the next.  After college, every professional experience I’ve had is related to Iran or Middle East in general.  In fact, I only moved to D.C. to pursue an internship in Iranian politics.

By graffiti artist A1one in Tehran

When I began to apply for a permanent job – my dad said, “Farrah, you should erase all of your Iran experience from your resume because you will be discriminated against when employers look at your resume.”

My first reaction — Fuck that, I love the experience I’ve had and if some employer is going to discriminate against me for it then I don’t want to work there anyway.

My second reaction — Shit, if I erase all of that from my resume, I’m basically left with my college degree.

So I refused.  I didn’t talk to my dad about the lack of calls I got from the many jobs I applied to.  I didn’t talk to my dad about my struggles with finding a job.  Instead, I lied to my dad about getting another unpaid internship in D.C. focusing on Middle East democracy and told him that I was working temporarily elsewhere.

And when I finally got an interview with the current organization I work for, I didn’t tell my parents until after I had the confirmation email that I got the job.

I learned something valuable from the first interview at my job and my first year there.  My experiences at work have only reaffirmed what I’ve always believed in:

Don’t apologize for your culture or your background.  It’s what sets you apart.  It’s what makes you unique and it gives you an advantage. Continue reading →

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Oct 18 2012
3 Comments
Flavor of the Week, Give it to me, Saaghi, Shut the Front Door, What the F, What your momma didn't tell you

Ayo, I’m tired of using Technology

Good morning.

Its technically my morning, because its 3:19 am, and I canNOT sleep. Blame it on the alcohol, that’s what I get for pounding those double-shot margaritas after work.

Drinking in college is for Fun. Drinking after work is for Sanity.

(of course i dont look this fab @ happy hour)

So what you do when you have alcohol-induced insomnia is try to load up on drunk food so you can fall into a carb-induced coma, but since my cabinets are empty and i only have some KALE in the fridge (who was I kidding when I went grocery shopping?)– I had to turn on the TV. and instead of turning on C-SPAN, I watched Sex and the City– SEASON ONE episodes.

& it provided me with some blogging inspiration: The evolution of technology, and how within 10 years– everything has changed. For better, or for worse.

There was a scene in the episode where Carrie and Big run into each other unexpectedly– though they’re in a relationship, and then casually say goodbye. In that moment, it hit me– neither of the two is exactly sure where the other is going, what they’ll be up to, and when they’ll see each other again.

Updates on status had to be given via a land line phone. Which means you had to be home. not mobile.

Or if Carrie had a moment of crisis (which she does in most episodes), she would have to wait until she got home, got to a payphone, so she could catch one of the girls at home, or in their office– tot talk it through. Or she could leave it for Sunday Brunch.

And to think that land lines and pagers and payphone were within my lifetime…well, it blows my mind.

THen it all hit me,

Technology has redefined personal space.  And our love lives. Continue reading →

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Oct 03 2012
4 Comments
Flavor of the Week, Joon, Persian Dad, Saaghi

Texts from Daddy Joon

Hola,

SO while I’m usually this tree of grandmother-ly wisdom (ha) and hardcore feminism (out of bras to burn). Today, I’m going to be that awkward Persian Girl with an embarrassing Persian Father.

A lot of my friends love my dad. They think he’s hilarious, and it looks like, from some of the comments, some of you joonies think he’s kinda funny too.

Well, it’s all fun and games til it happens to you.

1. Texts From Daddy Joon: Continue reading →

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Oct 01 2012
2 Comments
What the F, Divooneh Bitches, Joon, What your momma didn't tell you, Farrah

Last Name Ever, First Name Fakest.

JOONS,

I’m making a very big effort to not start off this post bitching about the fact that it’s Monday.  Seriously…

It was the freakin’ weekend and weekends are bomb because it involves no work and all play- unless you do work on the weekends, then I feel for you #madrespect.

My weekends usually consist of a lot of food and good friends.

Good friends are hard to come by – especially ones who know what the real meaning of friendship is.

Saaghi and I say this everyday – but she’s my wife #sorryboys

I’ve had a lot of bad friends. Friends who think it’s okay to call my mom a bitch, just because I do.  Or friends who think it’s okay to tell me what to do rather than to support my decisions and let me make my own mistakes.

And as a result, I’m blunt.

I say what I mean and I mean what I say.

I think “being fake” or being “nice” to someone who doesn’t deserve it is a waste of time. And I have more respect for people who can tell me how they really feel about me versus the people who pretend to like me to my face.

I have a tendency to believe people until proven otherwise — so me and fake [Iranian] girls usually aren’t the best combination.  I believe them, they talk shit, and I end up slapping them with my words. It’s the never-ending cycle or I’m just a lot bitchier than I like to admit (doubtful).

News flash: people aren’t stupid and if you’re bullshitting someone, chances are… they know.

And let’s be honest, many Iranian girls have a tendency to be the sweetest, most loving person to your face – but behind your back, all hell breaks loose.

Our culture produces the epitome of “poz-dadan.” Translation: uhhh fake mother f#ckers.

And why is that?

We’re taught from early on that we need to create an image.  An image that somehow proves we are better, that we are superior to our peers.

The image we create of ourselves somehow leads to our “survival” in the Iranian community. Continue reading →

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Sep 27 2012
4 Comments
Joon, NAStY HAAwT, Saaghi, What the F, What your momma didn't tell you

Here’s my Number, Call me…Maybe?

JOONS.

There’s been a lot of politic and office blabber as of late– and we all know you joonies bookmark this blog for some sexytime.

Unfortunately, the problem with committing to being a sex blogger is that you have to have sex. And while I’m missing some action in my life right now, I’ve been blessed with some variety in the past because, wouldn’t it be boring if an S&F blogger had sex with only one person?

Wait, scratch that—Wouldn’t it be boring if anyone had sex with only one person?

One is too little. How many is too many?

(or as BiBi would say, where’s the red line?)

Obviously there’s no number that works for everyone, but for the average person of this generation, keeping the number low is going to be difficult– considering people get into relationships at a SNAIL’s PACE.

And we all have needs.

But then again, we all have self-control too.

What an internal battle, huh? And then (if it applies) add the whole “Persian girl stuck in an image conscious culture” element, and BAM, you have a serious number complex.

And I’ve done my fair share of research, asking guys I know from all different backgrounds,

“Would you care about a girl’s number?“

and a lot of them are very PC with their answer, but if you keep prying, they’ll say

“Well, I wouldn’t ask…but if its high then I mean..you think something’s up…“

“If its been with guys she was serious with, then it’s fine” 

“I mean as long as its not crazy like 25 or something”

Most of them said this, and I was thinking

“So you’re probably pro-abortion, but you kinda still wanna tell me what to do with my body?” Continue reading →

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Sep 23 2012
3 Comments
Farrah, Joon, Saaghi

Tehran: I Have Pride Coming Out The Ass

When my little brother found out I was going to be interviewing Tehran SoParvaz for S&F, he immediately freaked out on the phone and texted me a picture of Tehran to have him sign it (because you can autograph picture texts?).  He said, “Omg Farrah, Tehran is SO COOL and his Farsi is even better than yours.”  

And for once, my brother was right, not only is Tehran intelligent, witty, and straight-up hilarious, he was personable.  I’m pretty much jealous of his amazing Farsi skills.  Talking to him felt like I was catching up with an old friend.  That’s just how you have to be when you’re a personality like Tehran- you have to get people to like you right off the bat and I’m certain that Tehran has no problem doing that. I’ll be honest, it’s hard to be an Iranian these days, and Tehran’s pride for his Iranian and his black heritage is so clearly evident in the way he carries himself and in what he does for a living – it’s inspiring.  We could all learn a thing or two — like Tehran says, we should all have pride coming out of our ass.

So a big thank you to Tehran for being a total bad-ass and for taking the time to talk to us.  And because I was too shy to say anything in Farsi on the phone, “Tehran jooooon, kheyli bahali – key miay khastegari?“ 

xo,

Farrah

S&F LOVES TEHRAN SOPARVAZ.

Tehran SoParvaz

- Tell me about yourself…

I was born and raised in D.C.  I love D.C.- it’s my home city.  I went to college and graduate school in D.C.  I still call D.C. my home even though I’m on the road more than I am in D.C. – but that’s why you’ll always catch me with a D.C. hat- D.C. REPRESENT.

My dad is Persian and my mom is black.  My D.C. heritage goes all the way back – my parents are D.C. native.  My mom is a lawyer over at HUD who fights against gentrification in the district.  I did my undergrad and graduate school at George Mason University and I went to Georgetown Law for law school.  I didn’t take the BAR after law school – I have a Master’s in Economics and did a double major in my undergrad in International Politics and Communications.

- What do you do?  How did you get started? 

I host shows – I have a show on BET, I hosted Lil Wayne’s tour that finished about six months ago.  I also hosted a tour for Rick Ross.  I host shows, comedians and I’m just a entertainer in general – a personality - that’s what I prefer.

I used to throw a lot of events- parties and concerts.  It was just a natural onset of being in that environment.

- What was a pivotal moment for you when you were hosting? 

My favorite moment: You know those big Persian concerts that happen in Vegas every Christmas? I hosted the Vegas concert.  The first year I ever did it was four years ago – they put me on stage and I hosted the entire two days.  It was a stellar job, an amazing concert – the energy, the vibe – I’d never been to the Vegas concert before and it was amazing.  I don’t really have a natural fear of speaking in front of people.  Everyone thought I had prepared what I was going to say while I was hosting, but when I went on stage, I just spoke whatever came to my mind.

It felt like a movie.

Continue reading →

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Sep 17 2012
31 Comments
Douche of the Week, Arab Money, What the F, Joon, Saaghi

Islamophobia Can Suck It.

JOONS.

The way I feel about religion is the way I feel about myself during Puberty. Hate it, but can’t pretend it never happened.

I was raised Muslim. I have issues with the religion, I’m not practicing but there is no doubt that my blood is as Islamic as it gets… you can take a look at my family tree, if you know what I mean.

And for years now, I’ve been observing Islamophobia– passively. I’m not a hijabi,  I can conceal my religious heritage.  And while I’ve never denied being a Muslim, I sure have conveniently left it out of conversations.

Villifying ‘Muslims’, as you know, condemns all Muslims regardless of where they fall on the spectrum of extremism to laissez faire. These past few days, have just been a little too much for me. The movie, Ayaan Hirsi Ali’s article, the protests…

is it an Islamic Awakening, or is the AntiChrist coming?

Either way, many of us kids who grew up with a pretty significant amount of Islamic influence know that

Islam is a religion, but religion is culture. Continue reading →

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Sep 11 2012
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Joon, Saaghi, Torshideh and Desperate, What the F

Yeah, She’s D for D.

ayy JOONAMS

Hope we made the early week a little more bearable  for you guys with a little humor on the tumbLOLr (tumble here).  As for myself, I’ve been putting this song on REPEAT…mourning over the fun/careless summer I never had #firstworldproblems #momoneymoproblems

hit play if you feel like your summer was unjustly cut short, too.

Do you know what’s great about speaking another language a.k.a Persian/Farsi?

The sh!t talking.

Yes, we’re all guilty of being mean in our mother tongue. It’s a privilege we use and abuse.

And its not just Iranians– anyone with the advantage of a second language can and does do it. I swear my nail lady is always talking smack about me in a voice that’s barely above a whisper.  However, for my friends and I- Farsi doesn’t cut it anymore.

In California: Talk Shit, Get Hit. Especially if its in Persian. The chance that someone in the room understands you is more than 50%, and the chance that you’re talking about a Persian is even higher.

So when all else fails, we use acronyms. And this was a long-winded introduction for our most meaningful one yet:

D for D = Desperate for D!CK Continue reading →

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