HEY JOON JOONS!
NEW YEAR’S EVE BABY! As you all get prepared to go out for an evening of debauchery and fun- we thought we would provide the men with a short list of guidelines to follow as they attempt to get their New Year’s kiss (in reality, boys/men should follow these guidelines at. all. times).
1. When you go up to a girl, make an effort to engage her friends too. She will appreciate that you aren’t excluding her homegirls otherwise known as: you are just being creepy.
2. Buy her a drink. I know… common sense right? I’m all about being independent and paying for my own shit- but its the principle: guy should always pay on the first date and hey, if you’re trying to get some action after a crazy night of drinking, then the least you can do is pay for a goddamn drink (we all know the second you get to her house, you’re going to flail around until she decides to go in your pants, and then pass the fuck out).
3. Make sure that you’ve both agreed to a New Year’s kiss before going in for the kill. No one likes a surprise…
1. Don’t get so wasted that your breath reeks of beer (gross). Trust me, if you are THAT wasted guy… all you’ll be doing is kissing the toilet… and we will probably (likely) take pictures to show our friends the gross guy that attempted to hit on us as he was falling over.If you merely get bad breath after a drink or two just… because…? (sidenote: you should probably see a dentist). But ANYWAY, chew a piece of gum (cinnamon to be specific… you’re welcome) . It’s tasty and fresh! 2. When kissing, don’t slobber all over her mouth and most importantly, don’t stick your tongue in her mouth and have it just lie there like a dead eel. Trust me: bad kisser is a major #dealbreaker.
3. Don’t be cocky. If you really are that cute, we will notice… no need to TELL US or try to act like we are LUCKY to have your attention. Because in reality, you are lucky that we are willing to even listen to your bullshit “hit-on” lines. In life, you should always be modest- its helps you maintain your job, your friends and the girl you’re trying to take home that night.
So, follow these simple rules and we reassure you that your New Year’s will end up like this:
And not like this:
HAPPY NEW YEAR JOONIES! We <3 you!
SEE YOU IN 2012!
THE S&F TEAM