Tagged with persian problems

Say My Name

Joons,

Yesterday I had brunch with my mama, and I can’t remember how this conversation started, but one moment she was suddenly asking me “Do you like your name?

Without even hesitating, I responded, “Yes! Of course!

She smiled and said, “I remember poring through a list of names and Naseem just stood out to me… it felt right. I knew you’d be a Naseem.”

Of course, I couldn’t always say that I loved my name…

There is a vivid memory floating around the back of my head that I desperately wanted to change my name to Kelly in second grade.

witness

How does an eight year old decide with such conviction at that age

“oh shit gotta change my name ASAP, brb?” 

(I remember why I wanted the name Kelly: one of my favorite waitresses at the chelokabobi in town was named Kelly, and baba and I frequented that place with all my amoo’s in tow on a weekly basis). I told my parents about this desire, and of course, they did not oblige my request.

Fast forward to the reckless and angsty age of fourteen, where identity crisis is unavoidable.  Imagine the extra heaping of namak on my puberty-ridden rage wounds of wondering “who the hell am I turning into” with a name like Naseem on top of all the ish you deal with as a teenager.

I hated my name and started asking people to call me Jennifer. Continue reading

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Material Guy

Hihi joonies,

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas — I’m not trying to make a religious assertion here, but we know that most Iranians love to go all out for Christmas. Presents, the competition between families as to who has the better tree, who cooked the best dinner, who’s gained the most holiday weight, etc. – not that I’m complaining, I am not afraid to show off my holiday weight as long as they continue to feed me.

I LOVE tadig

I LOVE tadig

But I skipped PERSIAN/VERZION Christmas this year and instead hid out in a small town with some close friends. #cantcomplain

The best part about spending time with close friends during the holidays is not just the ability to avoid interrogations about where you’re going, what you’re eating, what you’re doing (love my family I swear) — but the best part really is being able to just talk about anything without worrying that your 16 year old brother is eavesdropping.

Most of my friends and I are pretty different.  We all chose different areas of work to pursue, we have different tastes in guys, different interests, but when it comes to boy trouble – our issues are usually the same.

Confusion over relationships is universal.

Sometimes I feel like relationships aren’t as innocent they used to be.  Back in high school, I had this boyfriend for two weeks and then that boyfriend for another two weeks. The concern over whether he had family values or was goal-oriented was never really an issue because in high school, we were in the moment rather than focusing on the future.

At least I was.

Now in my 20′s, every date I go on or every boy I meet, I go through a mental checklist to see if they meet up to my “desired needs” aka to see if they are list material.

rudd

I usually decide between the first five – ten minutes whether the guy I’m talking to meets my requirements (though I’ve been blinded many times). 

We all have that ideal perfect man drawn up in our head. Continue reading

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Riding In Cars With Boys

JOONIES:

It’s official- summer is ending.  I haven’t really felt any humidity for a few days, the AC is officially off… not that I’m a fan of humidity or anything, but is it just me or did this summer go by REALLY FAST?

Now I have to prepare for snow and freezing cold weather- we all know how well that will turn out #CaliGirlForLife.  Bring on the face masks.

At least it’s pretty

When I was younger… before the drama hit the fan and I had to assume a shit ton of responsibility and act like a parent… my mom and I had a very special relationship.

She would excuse me from class so that we could have mother/daughter days.  She used to take me shopping on a biweekly basis.  We would sit and talk for hours about everything going on in my life- I would confide in her about boys, friends, my secrets (not relating to sex OBVS).

My mom was the first person I would tell if I had a new boyfriend.  Of course, our “sharing” had guidelines.

1.  Never ever tell her if I had hooked up/given head/made out shamelessly in my high school boyfriend’s car.

2.  NEVER admit to ditching class as much as I did.

3. And most importantly, never show any weakness if a boyfriend broke up with me and I was sad AKA NO CRYING.

THAT was non-negotiable– because to her, crying over a boy was as bad as killing someone. Continue reading

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Why Aren’t You Melting?

Joonies,

Happy July 4th!!! The day America became free. The Red, White, and Blue.  The Land of the Free, Home of the Brave. America the Beautiful. This Land is my Land, This Land is your Land. OK, now I’m reciting everything I ever learned in Elementary School Choir.

But in all seriousness, my patriotism runs deep, I’m an American History fanatic (can count the 44 presidents backwards) and I read the Federalist Papers for fun. My ultimate goal in 4th grade was to be a colonial chick, preferably: Felicity of Williamsburg, VA from the American Girl collection. I grew up super-whitewashed, can’t you tell?

And despite what the cynics say, I am very grateful to have been raised in a country that is relatively more free and absolutely more blessed by Jesus. It is what my Persian-Islamic ancestors would have wanted.

Protestant Ethic- WHADDUP

Growing up in a really non-diverse/white state, made me want to be very American– in the sense that I wanted to assimilate, be like the other kids, and not have smelly lunch food. I thought being American meant Lunchables, Pepperoni pizza, and platform Sketchers– all things I was forbidden from. But my American Dream of being one of them would always elude me.

Continue reading

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