Tag Archives: persian

May 08 2013
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Joon, Saaghi, What the F, What your momma didn't tell you

Newton’s Third Law of Motion

Hola,

After reading Holly’s last post “Do I have it all?“  I was really inspired to self-reflect on my own view of marriage, relationships, and career aspirations. Exactly one year ago, I would have read that post–with my very favorite Lady Gaga quote — and I would’ve been raising my hand, sayin’ “Preach girl!“. Dreams over D’s anyday.  Now, I’m not so sure I’m a believer.

After watching a lot of The Big Bang Theory, I think I’ve found a scientific way to express myself (Note: I almost failed Physics in high schoo) Remember Newton’s Laws of Motion?  I only remember one.

“For Every Action There is an Equal and Opposite Reaction”

And while this is true with everything that feels the pull of gravity, it is actually completely false in the world of relationships.  Part of that is obvious– if you love your man, chances are he doesn’t hate you back.

But the point is, you can love someone, and they may not love you back equally. They may not love you at all.

See how that violates physics? It is counter-intuitive, and completely out of our control. It is as if you pushed a door in, but the door pushed back with double the force– or with none at all (in both cases, you would be injured). I wish my boyfriend would like me as much as I like him, but chances are the perfect state of equilibrium… does not exist. And that is scary, and it makes both people vulnerable. 

I think women fear the inequality that’s inevitable with emotional reciprocity.

Its a mouthful, and it may not even make sense but let me break it down:

I don’t think women fear waking up to a man that doesn’t love them anymore. They fear waking up to a partner that does not feel the same way. And the knowledge that they can’t do anything about it.

A pink slip at work will never feel like the moment someone says, “I’m not in love with you”, and since that is true, a professional goal can never heal a personal injury.  Continue reading →

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May 01 2013
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Flavor of the Week, Interviews, Joon, Weekend Winning

Ari Melo: Make the Girls Say Hello

I interviewed Ari Melo about a year after I had started listening to him, and the first thing I wanted to tell him was “Thanks for helping me stay on the treadmill longer with your song “Breakaway” . Its just one of those tracks that you want to keep listening to, because every few seconds it takes you for a different ride. And all his tracks (see below) are available for a free download because he’s just that generous with the eargasms.

Ari Melo, also known as Arian, is a pretty mellow (random as he calls himself) guy. He loves his sister,  can speak computer code — and counts dancing as one of his favorite things to do. 

Overall, he’s one of those guys you meet and know that even when he makes it big, he’ll still shimmy at the Persian mehmoonis.

xx, Saaghi
ari melo wall

- Tell me a little bit about yourself.

I’m Iranian-American, born and raised in San Jose and just recently graduated from UC Santa Cruz.

Growing up, I was a very active kid—curious about everything! I was into sports from a young age and I played soccer for most of my life although I really love hockey.

- How’d you get started in music?

I started messing with music, making playlists and burning them on CDs when I was 16. At 18, I was producing/creating my own hip-hop beats. Through a family friend, who managed Bay Area hip hop artists, I got connected to a local producer who showed me the ways.

I would say I’ve started taking it seriously for the past two years, and have moved onto doing more Pop, EDM, House and Electro tracks. I like doing my own rendition of well-known songs.

- You played sports for a long time before you picked up music. Do you see any similarities between that and music?

Yeah, definitely.

You have to be dedicated if you want to be good at it. If it’s a hobby to you, then it’ll remain a hobby. Continue reading →

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Mar 28 2013
4 Comments
Divooneh Bitches, Flavor of the Week, Good Little Jewish Girl, Good Little Muslim Girl, Guys I'd date, My Dad would hate, Joon, Saaghi, Weekend Winning, What your momma didn't tell you

High-Five Yourself!

Saaghi here, I know it has been awhile– but we have such talented new writers that Farrah and I get excited to just share, share, share!

This latest post was inspired by this article I read the other day, 35 Things I Wish I Had Done Before Turning 35 by Hemal Jhaveri. Now, we all have our unfulfilled bucket lists, and it is inevitable that we’re going to have a few “I wish I had…”  but one thing really stuck out to me on this list,

2. Hooked up with that hot guy from New Zealand who I met in a bar in Bali
In your 20s, you think stuff like this will happen to you again and again, but trust me, it doesn’t. And he totally would have been worth it.

If you think I’m going to go on about how I think we should all hook up instead of thinking twice, you’re wrong. But I think Hemal captures something really interesting, the once-in-a-lifetime hookup. Sure, in college, you can trade saliva with a lot of frat boys, athletes, and pseudo-intellectual Socialists —

but once in awhile, life throws you a Gem of a hookup. And its not about love, or relationships, or anything like that.

Its a pure ‘HIGH-FIVE yourself’ moment, and that’s why it’s great. Because when you do turn 35, you’ll look back and mentally high-five yourself again.

image

And while meeting a sexy foreign guy and deciding against sharing some drunken kisses (or more) with him seems crazy, it happens a lot. One of my girlfriends turned down a successful Spaniard –who couldn’t keep his hands off of her– only to regret it two minutes later, and go looking for him again at the bar! I’ve had one or two gem hook ups, that I high-five myself for every time. One, in Paris, where my friends really helped me get the Parisian guy of my dreams..for a few hours ;).

Our usual instincts are : approach with caution, and don’t be promiscuous.

I’m not advocating that every night be get drunk and naked night, because you’re definitely not coming across these gems all the time (and if you are, give me the name of your city and I’ll move there) All I’m saying is–You have to know what you’re saying NO to, and if that will be a NO you’ll remember for a long time. Ultimately, everyone has their own principles, morals, and limits, but

You just can’t be too high-strung in your 20′s, you have the rest of your life to be that way. Continue reading →

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Mar 26 2013
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Good Little Jewish Girl, Good Little Muslim Girl, Joon, What your momma didn't tell you

I Have A Little Problem…

I have felt fat and imperfect since I was about 7.

I can trace it back to the moment when my mom started discussing my weight and how I was pudgy with our doorman in Iran. Iranians don’t ever shy away from making extremely blunt comments:

“You look a bit fat, have you thought of losing weight?”

“Maybe you should start taking care of your mustache, you aren’t a kid anymore.”

“That haircut makes you look old for your age.”

We have all heard it at some point.

But this moment never really left me, and from then on my body, what I ate, and how I looked became a dominant thought in my head. When my mom asked my best friend’s mom, who was a nutritionist, how I could lose weight at 13 — When constant comments were made about why is it that I just can’t have a tighter stomach. There was a constant voice in my head about my imperfect weight.

thin

I started throwing up after binge eating in my last year of high school. I thought of it as damage control. I can throw up the food that I would accidentally binge eat. It wouldn’t happen that often, mainly because I ended up going on a self-imposed strict diet of only fruits and vegetables for 3 months.

When college started I was determined not to gain the freshman 15. Outside of my bulimia, I’m a very healthy eater. People think that you can only binge on unhealthy foods, I’ve binged on all kinds of food and thrown it up, unhealthy food is just easier to throw up. I didn’t think about this as a problem for a long time. Again, it was a form of damage control. I would get stressed, I would drink, or I would be mindless and end up binge eating. Then, when I realized what I had done, I would go and take care of it.

hungry

There is a wonderfully sick feeling of emptying yourself, a sense of relief and victory. I never considered asking myself why it was that I was binge eating, or why was it that I felt the need to binge to a certain point to make myself throw up. As college continued, my stress continued, and my body issues expanded. There was only so much I could control at times. And this form of “damage control” was effective and immediate.

It wasn’t until last year when I recognized my little problem, when I actually gave it a name and called it bulimia. Continue reading →

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Feb 26 2013
4 Comments
Flavor of the Week, Give it to me, Joon, What your momma didn't tell you

How I (Can’t) Feel

First off, in case anyone remembers or remotely cares, I did meet my Persian girlfriend’s mother. I feel like it went really well. (see my last post here!)

This may have to do with my mother always telling me, as a child, how charming I was, translating into a false sense of supremacy.

Regardless, my girlfriend told me her mother liked me enough. Either I am in the clear or my girlfriend has a great poker face.

Second, I would like to thank Saaghi and Farrah for posting my blurb and genuinely caring how my visit went. They have set up a wonderful blog giving voice to first generation Iranians abroad. Merci Farrah and Saaghi joon.

I can’t express my emotions properly.

I’m not a quiet individual nor am I my great-grandfather whom apparently only spoke to berate the loose morals of 50s youth: “‘Laash’ women and their harlequin print dresses.” My issue isn’t that I’m an introvert. My issue isn’t that I think speaking about feelings is a feminine trait. My issue is that I don’t know what to do when feeling: sad, upset, vulnerable, distressed, etc…

I would categorize myself as an emotional person. I don’t mean that I sob during long distance phone commercials. I mean that whether I am really excited or melancholic, the emotion overtakes me. I have moments where I’m animated from happiness and moments where I’m as un-enthused as Al Gore in a library.
My mom has accused me of taking drugs. My doctor has accused me of not taking enough drugs.
I’m not trying to make myself sound like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, nor am I painting a picture of a cross between Cary Grant and Behrouz Voussoughi, I’m only trying to be honest. People whom I build strong relationships with, friendly or romantic, understand this about me. My girlfriend, bless her heart, know this well and remains with me, although I must say she isn’t always a walk in the park either. We’re great (for the most part) together.

This little biography brings me back to the first sentence; I can’t express my emotions properly. I can sit and listen to my friend, partner or parent speak about their issues and give semi-decent advice. However, when the roles are reversed, Lassie does a better job at explaining his issues.

This ends up complicating my relationships. Building a relationship is difficult enough as it is. While we always think and speak of our partner’s best traits, it is really their worst you must accept. This is a given, of course. No person is baggage-less. Even if I think Alicia Keys and I would mingle quite well, I’m sure she has characteristics I would have to try to get over; such as not knowing how to make loobia polo. My baggage is the stress I can put on a relationship by not knowing how to say “I am sad.” I end up going quiet or getting upset. What is worse is at times I don’t even know why I’m upset. My girlfriend then gets frustrated because I’m in a bad mood and I won’t open up. I have managed to string together sentences blaming her and the 1979 revolution simultaneously for my own issues. I’ve also been a big enough jerk to blame her for lack of caring when she asks “what’s wrong?” An oxymoronic jackass.

I’ve read in the odd female magazine, yes I’ve looked inside Cosmopolitan and the Oprah one,

….that most men do not know how to express their feelings or that we’re afraid of our emotions. I find it funny that those articles are always written by women who do not have a) any clue about being male & b) testicles. Continue reading →

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Nov 05 2012
1 Comment
Divooneh Bitches, Flavor of the Week, Give it to me, Joon, Saaghi, What the F

Sex & Fessenjoon, 2012

HALLO.

It has been so long, and I wanted to say:

It’s not you, it’s me.

Really, work has swallowed me whole sorta. and its making me all sorts of LOOPY– like the other day, I watched 13 going on 30 all by myself (I hate chick flicks) and cried. Or that I spent Sunday shopping for limited edition Disney DVDs? Farrah says it might be because my life hasn’t been very emotional lately– and I think that is code for: its about that time for a douchebag to break my heart again.

Anyway, my sincerest apologies to you joonies, for my cold absence.  And if thats not enough, please accept this amazing Calvin Harris song– after writing this post, I’ll be dancing naked to it in my empty apartment. #baller

And I hope all the people out on the East Coast ( and NJ–where I grew up)– are keeping safe. I know there are many ways to help in the relief effort, but even if you have only two minutes– text REDCROSS to 90999 to donate $10.

Now I’m not going to assume that all you joonies are reading from the land of the free, home of the brave- Amrika. But its a big day tomorrow– Election Day 2012, OBAMA VS. ROMNEY. Fight to the death.

Just kidding. Although I’d pay-per-view that any day.

I think Elections are exciting. I was 15 when I worked on my first campaign, going from house to house– “canvassing”.  I couldn’t wait to vote, and when 2008 came around, I made my way to the polls and kept the “I Voted!” sticker as a souvenir.

Call me sentimental, call me idealistic, but I still believe voting is empowering. Continue reading →

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Oct 23 2012
5 Comments
Divooneh Bitches, Flavor of the Week, Good Little Jewish Girl, Good Little Muslim Girl, Joon, NAStY HAAwT, Saaghi, What your momma didn't tell you

Not thug life, but the Double Life.

Happy Tuezday.

Here’s something that made my week: the fact that my friends want me to dress up as Bert for Halloween. My question is,

Which Persian girl puts on a unibrow, voluntarily?

image

I thought bad eyebrows were like bad noses, you get rid of them and deny deny deny you ever had one? Or is the UNI in now? Someone fill me in.

Anyway, my grandparents were in town for awhile, all the way from eeRAN, and aside from lots of lavashak and pistachios, they bring a suitcase full of “Naseehat” (guidance from elders).

The problem with that is, I hate NASEEHAT. I’m comfortable enough with my parents to stop them before they get ahead with all their ‘guidance’ lectures–’Dad, the decibel level of your voice annoys me‘. But with my grandparents, I can’t be so direct. I have to swallow my pride, and smile, and nod–as if I’m actually going to take what they say into consideration.

Do you see how immature and stubborn I am?

But, in my defense, as I’ve… aged… I’ve gotten better at identifiying the ‘GOOD Naseehat‘ from the ‘OBNOXIOUS Naseehat’. Especially now that I’m out on my own, with my own bills and finances and Adult-ness,

I know I can’t learn everything the hard way– cause if I do, it’ll end with bad credit, a mug shot, and an ‘I TOLD YOU SO’. Continue reading →

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Aug 05 2012
5 Comments
Farrah, Flavor of the Week, Joon, Saaghi

NIMA: I’m 22 and I’ve Worked On An Emmy Nominated Show

JOONIES:

In true S&F style, we’re bringing you another interview — featuring one of the finest from the Iranian American community:

ADAM/NIMA POURAHMADI: BRILLIANT. MOTIVATED. HOTTERTHANADOCTOR.

The kind of guy you can bring home to your Daddy joon, not just because he’s smart, but because he’s already achieved SO MUCH and at such a young age.  And apparently, we aren’t the only ones who think so– check him out on “The Men of AJE.”

I met Nima by chance through the wonderful world of Twitter — during our first meeting at Starbucks, I was in complete and utter awe at how intelligent and kind he is.  Not only, one of the sweetest guys I’ve met on the East Coast but, how many 22-year-olds do you know who’ve already worked at two major media organizations? He was so easy to talk to and instantly made ME feel comfortable enough to be myself.  Nima is charismatic and is truly making Iroonis proud everywhere.

Did I mention he’s a freaking cuuuuutie?  Sorry Nima, I’m not a playa, I just crush a lot.

xo,

Farrah

Introducing HUFFPOST Live’s NIMA POURAHMADI

- Tell me about yourself…

I was born in a small Illinois town, population was like 30,000 or so- surrounded by corn fields, so definitely not the typical Iranian American upbringing by any means, but we had a lot of family friends in Chicago.  My father was the president of the Persian Educational Cultural Society and that was my exposure to the Iranian American community in Chicago on the weekends.

The Persian Educational Society was this group of Iranian expats that would get together one Friday night every month.  They would have speakers and the kids would go to something similar to Sunday school- where they learned to read and write, and talked about the culture and played games.  That is where I learned how to read initially and then I continued my lessons every summer when I went back to Iran.

In Iran, I studied Farsi for two summers at Dehkhoda.   It was single-handedly the coolest experience I had in iran.  Dehkhoda is an international school for expats, and for those who are interested in Iran and Persian culture.  Classes were for three hours in the morning and then they give you the rest of the afternoon to explore.  My classmates were from all over the world– Korea, Japan, Colombia, Venezuela, etc.  You just meet incredible people, and you can go explore Tehran together.

- What was the most valuable thing you learned at Dehkhoda? 

The most valuable thing I learned there is just being able to connect with other Iranians.  Many Iranians try to break away from the stereotype of Iran– in terms of proving how modern we can be and how we can party.  Like when Nick Kristof went to Iran, we expect him to say, “oh, these people are just like you too.”  

The most important thing about going back to Iran is learning to understand more of the culture and background of the country.

Continue reading →

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Jul 17 2012
16 Comments
Farrah, Saaghi, Stories From a Past Life

19, in 1979

A Guest Post that’s a throwback to another generation, we thank them for allowing us to share this story:

I was about 19 years old, a University student in Isfahan when the Shah’s regime fell. All of us were very excited to be a part of history in the making. Even before they shut down the schools, I had stopped going to classes– why bother? Even in class, our professors talked politics- not math or physics.

The real education was out on the streets, we thought, but that was arrogant and naive. I remember throwing perfectly good University Cafeteria food into the trash as a sign of defiance to the ‘regime.’

Looking back, I wish I had enjoyed the Kabob and stayed in school.

In the time of the Referendum, when people voted for an Islamic Republic, the country had no effective military or police. Each province was divided up into precincts, and each precinct had its ‘guards.’  Who were these guards?

Young revolutionaries, running high on confidence that they were actually changing the country and making people listen.

Continue reading →

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Jul 15 2012
2 Comments
Farrah, Joon, Saaghi, Weekend Winning

IPANEEMA: I Love When Bitches Don’t Text Back

At S&F, we love finding those Irooni kids who are doing exactly what they shouldn’t be- comedy, film, stripping… But if it’s music, then we’re even more hooked. Clearly you joonies were as well, when we shared this young producer’s Rack City Remix in an earlier post (and below). I got the chance to interview IpaNEEMA (yes, his name is Neema)– at his studio, where he makes all kinds of magic happen.

While Neema insists  he’s a ‘weird kid’, I think he’s just a bit different because he’s never told a lie and he believes in earning over entitlement – but quite frankly, those are great reasons to be weird.

But in all honesty, I hope this interview captures the passion and strong morals that make Ipaneema– and it impresses you all as much as it impressed me. I know he’ll be size 42 font and causing lots of eargasms in the future. (read for explanation).

Oh, and the fact that he’s disgustingly talented also helps.

Enjoy the music Joonies.

xx,

Saaghi

IPANEEMA: THE ANTI DOODOOL-TALA.  

 

 

Continue reading →

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